Can bad jokes be really funny?
Apparently, they are hilarious.
Jokes, however bad they are..
..people laugh more at them.
Nothing like this will ever happen.
Nothing like this has ever happened.
This is the concern, of which l'm afraid..
..what am l seeing.
Otherwise, why does the heart tells me to be careful?
Run. Run. Run. Run.
Sorry! -Do you have a night darling?
No!
Nothing like this will ever happen.
Nothing like this has ever happened.
My heart tells me, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
Let it not happen, that it has hidden somewhere.
What you had thought, is like a stranger to you.
My shadow alone remains with me.
My heart tells me, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
Our Pinu has made us happy a lot, isn't it Kanta?
What do you say? -Yes. You're right.
Pinu's great-grandparents were Keshubhai and Kalavatiben..
..from Jamnagar. All their kids settled abroad.
Falguniben and Bharat were in Nairobi. Chaitaliben and..
..Dhiraj were in Lagos. Arunaben and Amrit were in Jamaica.
Parulben and Bipin in Edison. Pinu's grandparents..
..Manjulaben and Hasmukhbhai in Kuala Lampur.
Hasmukhbhai's kids Meena, Jyoti and Preeti..
..were in Nashville, Amsterdam and Hongkong respectively.
But their son, Jignesbhai, Pinu's parents, on new years day..
..died in the London plane crash.
And left Pinu to us.
Look at him today. So big!
He runs his own restaurant.
He runs his buisness very well.
He has made both of us very proud.
And now, we're going to lndia, to bring his bride.
Very happy today. Very happy!
Are you getting all bollywood again, mom?
Stop crying.
Only a few days are left. Let brother Pinu be happy.
Where is brother Pinu, anyway?
Hello mate.
You're alone on your pre-wedding celebrations?
Just like that.
Hopefully l won't be alone after l marry.
Yeah, good luck with that, mate.
So, brother Pinu..
..you're going to visit lndian girls, is it?
All are virgins, or..
..like you. -Rajat.
How many times l've told you that l'm not a virgin.
He's right.
When will you prove it to me, that you're not a virgin?
Thank you. Oh! Mr. Sharad.
How are you?
l'm fine. -Darling..
..your drink is over.
Don't you want another one? -Oh! Yes of course, always.
Cheers!
Suneet had had a lot of drinks.
Why don't you drop us home?
Pinu? -No, l can't go. Because..
..tomorrow morning l have to go to lndia. l'm leaving for..
..lndia tomorrow.
Aunt! -Yes, Pinu.
Pinu, open your mouth, child.
Aunt! -You should not say no. Look, it's curd.
We're going for a good work. -What good work?
My brother is going to get slaughtered. -Rajat, dont talk..
..rubbish.
We're going to have lots of fun mate. Listen..
..last chane. Take a good look at the house one last time.
Because soon enough, it won't be your bachelor flat.
Because when we'll be back, you'll have your perfect lndian..
..wife along with you.
One minute. -C'mon lets go. -One minute, aunt. One minute.
Take the bag.
Take the bag, fast. C'mon. Oh!
C'mon kid. -He's such a nice kid.
Pinu, you're going for your honeymoon to Switzerland.
You could have done it in lndia itself. -What lndia? Don't..
..talk nonsense.
Uncle, l thought Payal must have never gone out of lndia..
..that is why Switzerland would be good for her.
lt was aunt's idea. Honeymoon should be made in Switzerland.
l'll take, l'll take my life partner to Switzerland.
Brother Pinu, we've come but.. What if you don't like Payal?
lt's not that you know her from childhood.
What if there is no chemistry.
What if, you don't like her voice? Or..
What if she has some serious body odour or something?
You look outside. Come, see everything outside.
Look in front.
Payal, is a good girl.
She is beautiful, efficient and a Hindu.
Our family is lndian, no doubt..
..but, our thoughts are quite progressive.
We have no problems, if the girl and boy..
..want to spend some time alone.
Both are jus one table away from each other.
That too with Paya's sister.
Then, what is the problem about?
The food is very delicious. Very nice. -Yeah.
l love this juice a lot.
Tell me, will you be able to go abroad and stay away..
..from your country?
Will you be happy, Payal? -lt would be my honour..
..to be a slave at your feet.
l'll do what you'll tell me to do.
Just like a respected lndian woman.
l've never heard anyone talk like that.
From where did you learn to speak like that, Payal?
Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi.
Tulsi..
Have you never seen it? lt's a hit T.V. show.
She teaches lndian values to the girls of our generation.
Tulsi.. -So good to know..
..that our lndian television is not yet corrupt..
..due to western influence. lt seems you watch a lot of T.V.
How will you watch T.V. there?
These shows won't be show there. ln abroad, their shows..
..are shown which are full of drug problems, teenage..
..problems, live-in relationships..
..pre-marital sex..
Why, what happened? -You said..
..sex, that why she felt shy.
l'm so lucky.
Bring the bride. The asupicious time is getting over.
Do it fast. l've to attend two more marrages today.
l don't even know if this marriage will happen or not!
What do you mean if it will happen or not? ls it a wedding..
..or a rainfall? Sit quietly. Uncle..
..please call Payal.
'l had regretted. l had regretted a lot..'
..when i had killed my son.
'After killing you, l won't have any regrets.'
l don't believe it.
What has happened?
What has happened to our country?
What has happened to lndia?
What has happened to our television?
'To fulfill her wishes, that lady can do anything.'
Where is our culture?
Where is our shame?
Where is the sunshine?
We people?
Me and my pets?
Togetherness?
The togetherness of our relationships. Oh my god!
lt's so tragic.
lt's sad, you know?
l'm sorry mate? What's ill omen anyway?
What is it? -We are ruined!
Can someone tell me what is happening?
l'm sitting here, dressed up since long..
..and Payal has not yet come. And what are you all reading..
..about?
Dear mummy, dear papa.
l can't do this marriage.
l don't love this Pinu Patel from London.
l love Ashish, because he is cool, handsome..
..and is not a chef of some cheap restaurant in London.
l own that restaurant!
So, please mom, dad..
..tell Tinu ill omen, to go back to London..
..and make his NRl snacks there.
Love..
Payal.
What's an ill omen?
Rajat. -What?
Promise me one thing.
Anything, brother Pinu.
This..
..whatever has happened, whatever..
..after going back to London..
..don't tell anyone.
What do you mean? -Not to anyone.
Alright. -No one. Alright. -No one. -l promise. l promise.
You promise? -l promise.
Oh brother!
Brother, you came so fast?
Hey, brother has come. -Congratulations on your wedding.
Congratulations. -Thank you. -Congratulations.
But brother, where is your wife? l can't see her.
l was very curious to see your wife.
No, l meant, l wanted to see which lndian girl had stolen..
..our brother, Pinu's heart.
There is some visa problem. She'll come later.
Go, go. Now you work. -Ok bye.
So even after marrying, Pinu is alone.
How sad!
Can l do something? -Yes you can do something Mrs. Rashmi.
Of course you can do something. You can leave me alone!
l'm married. Leave me alone please. -Ok!
Pinu sir, congratulations, congratulations!
Sir, l want a leave of two months. -Thank you.
Like you, even l want to go to lndia and get married.
Mom has selected a girl also.
Look Ganpat, to go to lndia, marry, and come back..
..one week is enough. You won't get a two months leave.
Sir, l'm going so far. That too for my own marriage.
l can stay a little longer, being happy..
What is the matter Ganpat? You look very restless.
Why not? l'm going for my marriage.
l'll stay and come, isn't it sir?
You also should not have come that early. -Yes.
He's right.
Ganpat, l told you that we'll talk later. Now go inside.
-Ok sir. Can l get the leave?
Hello, this is Pinu Pate's residence.
And right now l'm in lndia.
So please leave a message. So, when l come back, l call you..
..and tell you all about it.
Pinu, pick up the phone, child.
Hello aunt.
No, l just came back from the restaurant.
No.
l'm not upset. Look, l'm laughing.
No aunt. l don't feel like going out.
l was alone earlier also.
Ok aunt. l'll try.
What happened? Why did you come out from there?
Aunt, l was not feeling well.
Aunt. -Yes.
Whatever happened with me in lndia..
..you told about it to everyone?
Are you mad?
l told everyone that you rejected the girl.
Why? What did you say? -No. No.
Nothing, aunt. -Pinu.
Child, why are you so afraid of the people?
You've your own restaurant.
You earn so well, you're well respected..
Any girl would want to marry you. -There is no use, aunt.
Come. Come. Come, Sujata.
Meet.. Meet my friend Sujata.
Come, Mili. Meet Mili.
Hi. -Hi.
Well, why don't to get to know each other better.
Then we can take the talks further, isn't it? -Yes.
Mom, can l go out with this guy for sometime?
Oh! Yes, yes. Absolutely yes.
Go and have fun. -Yes. Afterall you both..
..have to spend your lifewith each other. -Yes, yes. -Bye.
Our jackets, please.
Mili, can we go?
Should we go to some restaurant? We can sit and talk there.
Pinu. Pinu, right? -Yeah.
Look Pinu, my mom forcefully set me up with..
..some or the other guy.
l meet the boys to keep her happy.
Honestly, l had to get out of there.
Actually, l've a date to go to.
And, this arrange marriage.. l mean..
..c'mon! lt's.. lt's just not me.
Maybe if we can contact, or something.
The one who steals me from myself.
That is called lonliness.
You should know by now..
You find solace in worst of distress.
Life is my shadow. You should know by now.
You should know by now.
By now.. You should know by now.
Thank you.
Brother Pinu! l'm glad you came mate.
And didn't go to the stupid community, where mom was trying..
..to set you up with someone. -l had gone there.
Aunt had called, so how could l've said no?
Really? Then..
What happened? -What was to happen?
l didn't like the girl, so l rejected her.
Good for you mate.
This is the place to be.
Look around you mate. You're at a singles bar.
Here people come to get hooked up.
l can't do this, Rajat.
You know, how l'm.
What did you get trying for an arranged marriage?
Another extension be rid on your virginity.
Loose it up a bit mate. -l'm also not outgoing, like you.
lt's not about me. lt's about talking the right thing.
What do you mean?
Peter..
There are some wines. You know, tried and tested classics.
For example..
Can l buy you a drink?
lf the girl is interested, she would say..
..sure.
Peter..
What are you drinking?
Sambooka.
One Sambooka for the lady please. -Yeah, sure.
Then ask her..
..so, got any plans for later?
lf she is still interested, she would say.. -No.
Not really.
So how about we hang out?
Get a couple of drinks and..
..and then later..
..maybe..
..you know.
Take a dramatic pause here.
lf the girl leaves, to freshen up..
l'll go freshen up.
..then trust me, in no time she'll be in your bed!
You mean you don't know.
Go back home you Paki..
Didn't you hear what they said?
They are speaking to you and not to me.
They are speaking to us. -What?
l don't even know you and since when did you and l become us?
Are you going to say something? Or should l say something?
Why should l say something? -l can say something. But..
..then they'll think that all males of our counrtry are..
..weak and cowards.
lt doesn't look good.
Should l say something?
What is your problem? Do you have a problem if you see..
..a girl alone? l'll give you one tight slap, then..
..you'll come to know.
Go away! -They don't understand Hindi. -Yes, l know.
Why are you messing with her? Mess with me. She's with me..
..ok? -You stupid fool.
You're stupid, you. Come, come. Let's go.
l'm not afraid of you.
Loser!
Where do you think you're going?
Why are you pulling me? l'm not afraid of them.
l had got scared.
l've to leave.
l've to get down here.
Ok.
Ok bye. -Excuse me? -Yeah?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
What is your name?
l'm Pinu.
Patel.
Bye.
Hi.
Yes?
l'm a stand up comedian.
And l want to perform at Gaylord.
You've come to a wrong place.
Gaylord is a restaurant and..
..what did you say your name was? -Kamlesh. -Kamlesh.
Kamlesh there are no acts here. -So what happened?
We can start it.
Let's try and see.
l'm telling you sir, it's a hit idea. -lt's not an idea.
l said no. -Never say never boss.
l'll say never. Never. Ok?
And i'm not your boss. -You can be my boss if you want to.
l don't have time for this.
Yes Pakwan? -Brother, uncle Jesu has come to meet you.
Make him sit, l'll come.
See, l've lots of work to do. -Bring some water.
There has to be a way. See boss..
..l'll not praise myself but..
..l'm good. -You're irritating me a lot.
Who are you?
You don't work here, right?
You're not a customer, right?
You have no buisness being here.
Excuse me? Coffee please. -Yes.
Sorry uncle. What happened?
Pinu child, l want to talk about something very..
..important with you.
About the daughter of my cousin's friend, Renu.
Uncle, this is buisness..
..time and here also you're talking about making a relation.
No. No, no, no.
That is your aunt's department.
This Renu is a very intelligent girl.
She is in search of a job.
l had told her to come and meet you.
Give her some good job.
There is one job available, uncle. -ls it?
Does she know how to cook? -Well, l don't know about that.
l know how to cook food, boss.
Did someone ask you that?
Just sit quietly.
Look, Renu has come.
Oh you! Hi.
Hi. -Do you know each other, or..
We have met before, uncle. And he had also helped me.
Help me boss.
Please sit down.
Do you know how to cook food?
l don't know how to cook food.
But l've done B.Com and a specialization in Accounts.
And l used to make cartoons for the local newspaper.
Actually, l'm a cartoonist.
Cartoonist. -l've a catering degree.
That helps.
You want to become a cook?
l want to become a stand-up comedian, but..
..l cook well.
l'll cook for you boss.
And even l want to become a professional cartoonist..
..but l can manage your accounts.
Look boss, being an lndian
..it won't be good if you send back lndian talent without..
..even seeing it. -Even l'm an lndian. And that too a lady.
Ladies first.
Sir, l really need this job.
lf l'd have been in Chandigarh.. -You're from Chandigarh?
Great to meet you. My dad's family is from Chandigarh.
l'll practise some punjabi with you.
You're from Chandigarh? You too? -Even l'm from Chandigarh.
lt's a hat-trick.
Chandi.. l'll just come.
Now should we talk about the job? -Yes. Look boss l had..
..come here first, so l should get the job. -ls this a..
..queue for a bus, that the one who comes first will get..
..the job? -lt's not some women's rally that you'll get the..
..the job! -What are you people saying? l need a cook.
That's me boss.
Look boss, l'll cook for you and do some stand-ups in the..
..weekends. And then the buisness will grow, and then..
..you'll need a.. -A cashier.
Hire them. Hire them. -Ok, ok. Both of you're hired.
You go to the kitchen, and you go..
..to the cash register. Hey! One minute.
You go to the kitchen, and you go..
Uncle, l've never hire like this before.
Never say never boss.
He's not going to last many days. -That's not your fault.
The names of the dishes are so old! No events!
No food festivals!
The menu cards look old. This place has no colour and..
..excitement. But the resto has potential.
Boss the menu is very out dated. -There should be a..
..vibrancy in the ambience. The mood should be interesting.
l want to introduce new cuisines. Kashmiri, Bengali..
..Manglorian, Goan! -And l want to design new menu cards.
l want to change the decor. -Have you people come here for..
..a job, or to capture my restaurant?
Where should l put this? -There.
Looks very good actually. -Yeah it's looking nice.
Brother Kamlesh did you win the lottery or not?
The result is next week.
Brother, new uniforms!
..courtesy Renu. Thanks.
Nice, isn't it?
Yeah, it's interesting.
Hi Pinu.
Hi Rashmi.
l can see, after your wife's arrival..
..it has had a good effect on Gaylord.
Hi, l'm Rashmi.
l think you're mistaken.
This is Renu, she works here.
So where is your wife?
She's still.. You know there is still visa problem in lndia.
l remembered some work. Pakwan!
Excuse me.
Everyone knows that l'm married.
And l've no problems with that.
But now, Renu also thinks that l'm married.
God!
Boss! Taste please.
And?
Good! -NRl.
Out you all, how many how you know the real meaning of NRl?
Yes, tell me. -Non Resident lndian.
No, no. l've asked for the real meaning.
Non-stop sulker of lndia.
No, it's true.
Now you see, here you don't get lndian snacks.
You don't get lndian curd.
You don't get lndian buttermilk.
Stop crying!
That white called me a black..
..and l'm thinking, even you called him a white.
lf you go to lndia.. -What is the matter? Since you've come..
..back from lndia, l've seen you laughing for the first time.
Restaurant is full. Not even a single table is empty.
..you'll have to bear it. Means..
..if you go to lndia there's a problem, if you come to U.K..
..that is also a problem. Stop crying!
Now take him for an example..
Very good!
Boss, where are you going?
Where'll l go? l'm going home. -You go there everyday.
Let's do something different. Let's do some touristing.
What say? -l'm not a tourist, ok?
Have you seen evrything in London?
But..
..why? Where? -Have you ever palyed lottery in London?
You had played a lot of lottery one day. -No.
How much time does it take for luck to change?
Anyway, isn't it a nice view?
Always wanted to do this.
Never got the time for it. Today l thought, why not?
Do you know, l've been in London since so many years..
..but yet l've seen nothing.
Whenever l used to see a good place..
..l used to think that, when l would get married..
..l would go there with my wife.
l would see the whole London with her..
You need some company.
What's the fun of doing all this alone?
What's the problem in staying alone, boss?
Anyway, Pakwan was telling me that your wife is coming back.
But you know women can be quite a handful, boss.
You're speaking as if you've a lot of experience. -Of course.
A lot of experience boss. -Any girlfriend?
Used to have one.
Then?
She left me and went away.
Why?
She didn't like my stand-ups.
lt seems that, you're not over her yet.
Over or not boss. l'm absolutely..
Available! Absolutely available, boss!
Anybody looking? Anybody?
Anybody boss! -There is not a single person in eyesight.
Kamlesh is great company..
He's decent..
What are you cooking up to sell food?
You only have to cook food. -And he could be a good friend.
And l needed that.
Put the D straight.
Yeah, like that.
Wow! Cool boss.
Great job.
Even l get ideas.
lmpressive!
Yes, speak Rajat. Brother Pinu, you haven't called me in..
..weeks.
What is going on?
You're not upset because of that day, are you?
That was just a joke mate. -No. Nothing like that.
l was busy in the restaurant. -Alright then.
So you want to meet up? l've a gig in Covent garden. -ls it?
Can l bring one of my friend?
Brother Pinu, you've started having friends?
Of course mate. Bring whomever you want. Yeah?
Yes. -Ok. Sounds like fun.
My friend Rajat is performing at Covent garden. Want to come?
For sure!
Actually, Rajat is my cousin.
The son of my uncle and aunt. ls it?
But he's more a friend.
Come, come.
Rajat!
The pause of heart ceases mortality.
Here, my heartbeats take it away!
You don't say.
My heart was lonely.
The heart had to cease its life due to this vacancy.
For how long could it beat? How long could it wander?
The heart had to cease.
lt has fallen for you, darling!
My heart has found you, darling!
You're the reason of my living!
You don't say!
l like him.
l like her a lot.
But why would she like me?
A married boss interested in you.
lt's not romantic.
lt's sleazy.
Such is your beauty.
How is the union ever possible?
l'm in your way.
l seek you eternally, you're my strength.
You're my strength, darling!
lt's difficult for you to unite.
Come, sweep me away.
You don't say!
Boss, today was really good. We should do this more.
You're crazy. And who will mind the restaurant?
Pakwan will handle it boss, c'mon.
This is a nice place Kamlesh. -Thanks boss.
There you go.
More beer? -Why? You wanted whiskey or what?
l don't understand. Sometimes you're a cook, sometimes a..
..stand-up comedian. l mean. l don't know how you do that.
l don't know how you do it. Sometimes a friend, sometimes..
..a boss. Cheers boss.
l can't do your stand up even while sitting. -See.
That was good boss, you can do it too. -lt's not my piece..
..of cake. -Everyone can do it boss. All you have to do is..
..just lossen up a little bit, thats all. -This is what l..
..can't understand. -What? -Everyone tells me to loosen..
..up a little bit. What does loosen up means?
Loosen up!
Just watch. Look, look, like this.
Shake the laughter out of you boss. lt's very simple.
l'll tell you. -No, no, not me. No! No! No! -Boss..
..l'll tell you. Believe me. -Ok. -Ok.
Now think of the worst thing that is ever happened to you.
The worst moment of your life.
How do you know?
lt happens with everyone, boss.
Now..
Tell me as if it happened to somebody else.
Someone called..
..Tinu.
Tinu?
Tell Tinu ill omen to go back to London..
..and make his NRl snacks there.
ls is funny?
lt is? -Yeah.
lt is?
Boss?
Boss, tell me please.
Boss.. -Poor Tinu.
Boss, what is it? Share it with me.
Never, never.
Boss, tell something to me also.
Never!
Boss, c'mon! -Tinu, ok.
Tinu.. -Yeah.
Good evening everyone. -Good, evening.
Arrange marriage. -How many of us here have had an arrange..
..marriage?
Quite a few. Congratulations! l can se that henna. Well done.
Do you know which people have a arrange marriage?
Arrange marriage are for those losers, who don't have..
..a chance of marrying. lt's true guys.
After having tried a lot, you don't get a girl, you tell..
..to arrange it for you. -So, how many of you have had a..
..arrange marriage? Please put up your hands.
No, problem. l understand. Take him as an example.
Even he was supposed to have a arrange marriage.
Why did you do that? l can't believe you did that to me!
Boss, sorry. lt's my first mistake in the kitchen.
Today's stand-up went so well, l just lost track of time.
l had forgotten that l had put table 9's food in the oven.
Just give me 10 minutes, will you? Crisis management is..
..here. l'll sort it out. -l'm not talking about this.
l'm talking about that.
She ran away with her boyfriend..
..and left him to handle everything else.
You're laughing a lot. Do you get paid here for laughing?
Go do your work.
How can you? How can you?
l trusted you.
l shared everything with you.
And you?
lt's jus a joke for you, isn't it? -No, no, no guys..
..that wasn't the whole joke. lt gets better.
He comes back, and people ask him..
Your wife? We can't see her?
Where is your wife, isn't it?
So, to which he replies..
..her visa arrangement is not yet done.
You have back-stabbed me.
l never should have trusted you. Never!
Never say never boss.
Last night you only had said that you wished you hadn't..
..told this lie.
Look at it rationally, boss?
What did l get after disgracing you. Few laughs.
Don't we get that every weekend?
But you, got a riddance from that lie forever.
And you're free to find love now.
Believe me boss.
lt's waiting around the corner.
Go to hell.
Renu.
Come l'll drop you home. -No sir, l'll take a bus.
lt's ok. Come in.
No thanks sir, l'll be fine.
Renu, don't be stubborn. Get in, ok? Don't make me yell.
l'm sorry l shouted at you.
This time or at the restaurant?
At the restaurant.
l'm sorry. Even l should have not laughted at you.
Actually Kamlesh, exaggerates things, to make people laugh.
He didn't exaggerate anything.
lt's really true.
Are you.. Are you serious?
You're laughing again. -Sorry.
Well it is funny..
..if you've not suffered it.
Whatever happened was good..
lf the secret is out, your heart feels lighter.
lsn't it?
You're right.
l'm feeling much better now.
Little ahead, take a left.
Leave me there.
Ok.
What is this?
l'm ringing your bell from the past half hour.
What's going on?
Hello? Boss, why are you ignoring me?
Don't tell me you are mad about the same thing.
Wait a minute.
You're behaving like a child, boss.
Didn't l say, l'm sorry. Really!
l'm sorry, ok?
Forgive me?
Don't worry.
Your job is not in danger.
ln danger? -You mean my job was in danger?
Boss!
You're going to fire me?
l was thinking about that.
You can't fire me. You're too nice.
And l know you like me.
Don't push it.
You're funny boss. Come, l've to take you somewhere.
Where? -You ask a lot of questions, boss.
l told you things are going to happen for us. For you..
..love is around the corner. Come. Come, come, come.
When you said love is around the corner.. -Yes?
What do you mean? -l mean..
..love is very close to you, boss.
Even l know how to translate.
Even l've studied that much english.
l don't understand, when l ask you anything..
..why can't you give a stright answer.
Straight is so boring, boss.
lt's predictible.
l'm talking about possibilities. -Possibility?
What do you mean possibility?
The possibility of winning the lottery.
Lottery? -Yes.
Boss, today you'll select any six digits.
Are you mad? -l'm not going to to pick any numbers.
Boss c'mon, any six digits.
The first number to change your life is..
Eleven. -lt's number eleven ladies and gentlemen.
Nineteen. -Nineteen. -lt's number nineteen ladies and..
..gentlemen. One and nine.
Twenty One. -Two and One ladies and gentleman.
Boss, twenty one.
Forty. -Four zero. -Forty Three.
Forty eight. -Forty eight. Fortyeight, c'mon. Forty eight.
Last number! -Number Forty eight.
Oh my god! l've won, oh my god!
What happened? Sir, sir, l won it. l won it.
The lottery boss! -The one which l had picked up! -Yes.
You're my lucky charm.
You changed my life once again, boss. Thank you.
Thank you. -Congratulations!
You had selected the numbers, brother? -Thank you.
Congratulations mate!
Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run..
Boss?
Where are you?
Boss?
Hello this is Pinu Patel's residence.
l'm not here so please leave a message after the beep.
Boss, lt's me Kamlesh.
Are you not at home?
Anyway, call me soon. Yeah? Bye.
Hello?
Aunt..
Nothing. Just..
..what have you cooked for today, aunt?
Yes, l..
For you love is around the corner.
l'm absolutely..
..available.
Striaght is so boring, boss.
Straight is predictable. And l know you like me.
And you're free to find love now. Never say never boss.
Sorry. Sorry. -Can't you watch straight, you fool!
Straight? l'm straight. l'm straight.
You're stupid. -C'mon.
Boss, l came to your house yesterday.
Who made this lamp? -l did. -lt's very nice.
Thank you. -Boss..
..you just went past me.
Are you ignoring me? -l'm not feeling well today.
What happened? -Pakwan, bring some water. -Yes.
l don't know from morinig l'm feeling wierd and restless.
Restless? -Yes, restlessness.
Boss.. -lt's ok. -You're so hot, boss. Hot! l'm not hot.
Don;t be silly.
You're looking very good today. -Really?
Yes. And.. And this..
..is from lndia, isn't it? l love lndian things a lot.
Thank you.
Water, water.
Boss, you're tensed a lot.
What's the matter? -Nothing.
What are you doing?
l'm searching for an address. l'm not getting it.
l don't believe it.
l mean, l come inside and you start acting as if you're busy.
lt's nothing like that. -Hey! Am l the problem?
Don't be silly. -ls that why you can't tell me, boss?
Take a bite.
Have it. -l'll take it,
Whoever eats this will fall in love with me.
Because this dish is named, Kamlesh-e-Love.
Are you ok boss? Hey..
l'm fine. -Ok.
Anyway, l was thinking boss, let's go hang out after work.
l've plans. l'm taking Renu out for dinner.
Really, of course? -Really.
Renu..
,,is boss ok? He's acting wierd.
Wierd?
Yeah, he's a little different today, but..
..it's good for me.
Ok. Have a good dinner.
See you.
Boss! -Yes. -l'll call you back.
Are you going home? -Yes. Why?
Have a mental check up, boss? -Why?
Didn't you've to go for dinner with Renu? -Yeah, l'm going.
Renu..
You diden't have your dinner yet, have you?
No.
Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Sure.
Let's go.
Usually l've my dinner at home. l'm a vegetarian.
But sometimes.. You know for a change..
..l go out to eat.
l hope you didn't mind. -No, not at all.
Thank you,
Yeah. -Yes.
What's so funny?
l don't understand about this wine tasting.
Why? -lt's so pretentious.
Renu..
..you have to taste the wine.
What if the wine turns out to be bad? -Please.
Even the food can turn put to be bad.
But the waiter doesn't wait for us, so that..
..you take the first bite.
Why?
l think you've a point.
Cheers to that.
l think people do this just for show off.
No, no. Sorry. l didn;t mean that.
So for you, l'm a show off? -No.
Not at all. -Have a laugh.
You make caricatures,
ln your eyes, even l must be a cartoon. -Not at all.
l think caricatures present a person in an unique way.
Think sir..
..we think of beauty as perfection..
But most of us are not.
We're all different.
We all have our own statistics.
Different different imperfections are there.
And as an artist, l'm fascinated by imperfections.
That's what makes us real.
And l love that,
That's so deep, Renu.
Do you feel happy at Gaylord.
Of course.
So many people with all their different personalities.
The noise, the chatter, laughter, everything is there,
What's there not to like?
And..
..there is something else there that l like a lot.
You're right.
Laughter does make the place come alive.
lt has changed Gaylord completely.
All thanks to Kamlesh.
He is very special, isn't he?
l really like him.
Yeah.
Kamlesh!
Pakwan? -Yes, sir. What happened to that merchendise list?
That will happen when brother Kamlesh checks the supplies.
Yes and what happened to the preparations for the Punjabi..
..Food Festival?
How will l know about that? That was Kamlesh's idea.
He should know. -l know it's Kamlesh's idea, but where is..
..Kamlesh? -l'm waiting in the office since morning..
..he didn't come there. He's not in the kitchen, not on the..
..counter, not in the restaurant. Where did he go?
Brother..
..probably Renu know about it.
'Kuggi'. -'Kuggi'?
What's a 'kuggi'? -lt's a dove, 'kuggi'.
Dove? -Anyway, you're very fuuny.
Just as much beautiful you're. -Oh! Too much.
So, you're friend dreams about a man..
..so, what's the problem, mate?
Can't you speak in low voice?
He's a very good friend of mine.
He doesn't have problems only about dreams..
Like now.. The friend whom he dreams about..
He saw him with a girl.
And he was so jealous.
So mate, you know what your friend should do?
He should try and see what happens with this guy.
What can happen? What will happen? What do you mean, Rajat?
Oh, c'mon brother Pinu.
He see's that man's fantasies. That's his fantasy man-mate.
Shut up, Rajat! Shut up!
He's not gay, ok? -ls that what you think or is that what..
..he thinks?
Wr both think and we both know.
So, why the confusion?
Ok, you know what brother Pinu?
l've an idea.
You tell your friend that he sould be focused on one thing.
What? -That he must be with a girl.
You know..
l know what it means.
And then, all the confusions will be out of the door, man.
Ok. l.. l'll call my friend now. -Alright.
Jus one minute. -Ok.
Cheers mate!
Hello Rashmi.. -Pinu!
Mrs. Rashmi?
Seems, she left the door open.
Mrs. Rashmi?
Pinu, put me down, darling.
Naughty boy!
Why have you come wearing so many clothes?
lt was cold outside.
That's why..
Very nice!
You're in a rush.
Look, my name is Rashmi..
..but, don't Rush-me.
Ok. -Come darling.
Follow me.
Hop.
You were a rabbit right now?
Now, l'm a tigress.
l'm going to eat you now.
Can you really, handle me Pinu?
What are you doing? -Look..
..give me one minute, l'll just come.
Remember l'm waiting Pinu.
Pinu? Pinu, Pinu!
l'm waiting.
Coming, darling.
Pinu! What are you doing?
C'mon, l'm waiting for so long. Come fast!
Pinu!
Pinu, what is going on?
Fire! Fire!
What is going on?
Mrs. Rashmi, fire. Fire!
Fire? Fire! Are you crazy?
Oh!
l told you that.
You're always talking nonsense.
Don't be shy now.
Such a small thing.
So tell open heartedly.
C'mon, say it.
Renu, log please.
Hello?
Hello.. Mili, this is Pinu here.
Pinu, of course.
We were supposed to marry.
How could l forget you?
Wow! lt's so cool.
You're looking so beautiful.
l'm glad you liked it.
Dear doctor Viabra..
..l'm a man.
l'm a healthy man.
l'm a normal man.
Ok. l'm a normal, healthy man.
Wow!
This is amazing. -lsn't it?
l've never sat inside a stretch limo.
Never ever! This is fantastic.
We have more coming today, lady.
You know something..
..there's a beautiful, luxurious lounge waiting for us.
Just for us!
Are you trying to impress me?
Because let me tell you, l never sleep with a man..
..on a first date.
What are you talking about, Mili?
lt was not on my mind at all.
So..
..what is on your mind?
Champagne?
Special evening for the special lady.
Cheers. -Cheers.
lf l had know that you were so sophisticated..
..then.. Then maybe..
..you know..
..we could've been married by now.
Really?
But what do l do?
l've a phobia of the concept of arranged marriage.
l know what you're saying.
You don't even know the person.
What if the person turns out to be a gay?
You're niot gay Pinu, are you?
Because..
..this seems too good to be true.
What is it that you want?
lf l impress you then l'm a gay. lf l don't, still l'm a gay.
What the hell do you want?
The answer lies in the question.
Answer lies in..
What is it that you want? -Next question.
What the hell do you want?
But you had said, on your first date.. Never.
l've never had such a stylish first date before.
Wait a minute.
Water please. -Yeah, sure.
Pinu?
Hello?
Pinu? -Yes.
Can you hear me?
No, no. l'm fine.
Help!
Help! Help!
Come out of the closet brother Pinu.
Why are you telling me this? -Not you, your friend. -Yes.
Who's all confused.
Who cou;dn't even perform with a girl.
C'mon brother Pinu, he's a homo.
Rajat, he's not a homo.
He's just confused. l know him very well.
And l can't see him being gay.
Brother Pinu, no one becomes a gay.
Either he is gay or he is not.
So what should he do?
ls your friend.. Your friend..
..is he a real man?
100 percent real. He's a true male.
Then ask him to get to know his love better.
To spend some time with him.
Means..
What are you saying?
How can a person be 100 percent male by spending time with..
..another male. -Brother Pinu, all l'm saying is..
Be fearless.
Even if he is a homo.
And what if he is a little less than 100 percent?
Then tell him to marry.
Confused people do that only.
There'll be a wife at home.
Brother Pinu.
All l'm saying is, tell him to be a real man.
Like you are.
Think.
Kamlesh.
Where's Kamlesh?
Where is Kamlesh?
He's not yet come.
Not yet come?
Thanks. -Renu.
Renu! Do you know Edwin Haynes is comeing to see me perform..
..today evening. -Edwin Haynes? -The biggest talent scout..
..in town! -Wow, Kamlesh!
Boss, there you're.
Hi. -Come here.
No, l'm busy.
Pakwan?
l'm so happy Kamlesh!
Your files are here but the kitchen has been closed.
And l want to see Kamlesh perform. l'm so excited.
Anyway talking about parents, l've this white-American..
..friend of mine.
Who constantly kept telling me, Dude, l think l'm adopted.
And kept saying that.. -Ms. Renu? Ms. Renu?
Pinu is calling you.
..why don;t you go and ask you're parents?
And he says..
..that's a good idea. So he goes up to his parents and..
..he goes, Mom, dad..
..am l adopted?
And they look at each other and they go..
This Kamlesh is so good.
You call me, sir?
Renu, sit down.
ls there something wrong?
l was checking the accounts and..
1000 pounds are missing.
But thats impossible. l myself counted the money and kept it.
lf you want you can also count.
Pakwan Singh? -Yes, brother.
Bring Renu madam's bag. -Yes l'll just bring it down.
Are you thinking that l've stolen the money?
Even l'm not enjoying this, ok?
Ms. Renu, your bag.
Brother, l think you're allergic to laughter. Pakwan, please.
Sorry, sir.
l think you should check your bag now.
Why don't you check it?
Ok.
l'll check it.
What is this, Renu?
How did this money come in my bag?
Sir l've not taken this money. Somebody's put it there.
Sir, if l'd wanted the money, l would've asked you for it.
You've trusted me so far.
You don't trust me anymore?
No. -Sir..
Don't ever come back.
..the guy is being lazy to.
Boss?
Boss? l'm flying up there, and you're sitting down here.
Such bad behaviour? What's this? Come up.
Come up with me. -What is it? -At least come up.
Mr. Patel, you've a great eye for talent.
Thank you. -l must say Kamlesh, l was very impressed.
Quite quirky, but very inventive.
Thank you, sir. -Mr. Haynes here is to see if l'm good..
..enough to perform at the comedy club.
Comedy club, is it?
Ok Kamlesh, l'll call you tomorrow.
And Mr. Patel, l must compliment you on the food..
..you've got a great place going here. -Thank you,
Please come again. -l will.
Did you see that boss? Edwin Haynes loves me.
Did you see that? l'm thirlled.
Why didn't you tell me that such a big talent scout was..
..going to come. l would've done something. Some decoration..
..some good dish. -Boss l was also trying to search you.
You were busy. Let's go, l want to celeberate. Leave it.
Where's Renu? Renu?
Renu went away. She had to go.
Where did she go? She knew we were going to celeberate.
Should l call her? Where did she go? Tell me what is it?
Now its only me.
Boss, let's go. Come.
When are you going?
Where am l going boss?
This, comedy club.
l don't know, boss.
Are you afraid of losing your cook?
No.
l'm afraid of losing a friend.
Boss, your much more than a friend to me.
Really?
What relation do l have with you?
Boss, you're my angel.
You gave me a job, boss.
A stand-up chance.
Boss, you made me your friend.
l love you, boss.
l think you're very drunk Kamelsh.
l love you boss.
l'm so drunk.
Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run.
Then tell him to marry. Confused people do that only.
l'm telling you the truth, from beginning only..
..l've a good feeling about this relation.
You know, l always tell Pinu..
..meet her, meet her. Meet Mili.
l mean meet Priyanka. -Yes. -And Pinu..
Aunt, l don't have time. He postpones it by saying this.
Yesterday, he himself asked, Mr. Rakesh.
What are you thinking about?
Priyanka..
..l'm thinking that..
What do you think about love? What do you think about love?
Don't be funny Pinu.
Don't be silly. Love is also an arrangement.
l'll love you everytime you take me on a fancy holiday.
And everytime you take me to shopping
And why will you love me?
You shall find an answer to this after marriage.
Love is give and take, Pinu.
Congratulations, man. Look, l got engaged.
Oh, what a news! -l'm just kidding.
Make sweets today. lt's complimentary for everybody.
Won't you congratulate me?
Why not? You look so happy? Congratulations!
Seems like you ain't happy about my wedding.
Aren't you happy that l'm getting married?
Of course! You're not getting married with my consent. Then?
Why does it matter?
l guess l'm missing Renu.
Nobody misses her out here.
Where did she go? -She left work that day and didn't return.
Just..
Are you sure this is what you want?
l want to get married and so am l.
What is there to be so confused about?
And love?
Does love mean anything to you boss?
Hey! Take you coat.
What's up, mate?
Raja! You..
Where have you called me?
lt's a gay pub. -l have my performance here, Pinu brother.
lt's going to be fun. And who knows?
Maybe you'll meet your friend here.
My friend?
He'll never visit such places.
Why because he's getting married?
Mate, l've got to congratulate you.
lt's your wedding tomorrow.
Congratulations, Pinu brother!
What are you trying to say? -Pinu brother, it's okay!
She got confused. Big deal, mate!
l wasn't confused. l was disgusted. Okay?
With an assumption that l wasn't normal.
What if l turned out to be a gay?
l was feeling disgusted with myself.
Why are you laughing? -Disgusted?
You were feeling disgusted, Pinu brother?
l haven't heard that word in a long time.
What were you feeling disgusted for?
Two disgusting tonics, please!
Do you find everything funny, Rajat?
Yes, l was feeling disgusted. l was afraid!
Thinking that, what if l was gay?
Sorry! -Pinu brother, what if you're gay?
What's so wrong?
Wouldn't you have remained Pinu Patel?
l'm still Rajat Patel, mate!
And let me tell you. Being gay is not just about sex, mate!
lt's also about love.
And l..
l refused to live without love.
So it is mate. l'm gay!
What? -l'm gay! Do you hear me folks? l'm gay!
Yes!
l'm a homo.
Had that a homo eyes.
Had that a homo hands.
Organs, dimensions, senses, affection.
Passion.
l'm fed on the same food.
Heard the same weapons.
Subject to same feelings.
Healed by the same means.
Warmed and cooled by the same summer and winter.
As any human is.
lf you prick us, you will not bleed.
lf you tickle us, you will not laugh.
lf you poison us, you will not die!
What happened?
l'm going home! -Why?
Well there's rum down. So what's with the bloody attitude?
What?
You forgot our anniversary. -Oh! l'm really sorry.
Why? This isn't the first time you've forgotten. Someday..
..you'll forget to love me too. -Oh, c'mon!
Don't do this, wright! Hey!
l'm sorry.
He's made a reservation..
..for dinner for two at an lndian restaurant called gaylord.
l'm sorry sir, l know l'm not supposed to do this but..
..he's so upset.
l own that restaurant.
And i had come to see him.
Wanted to make sure that..
..it's a special evening and..
You love lndian food!
And he loves you so much.
Why didn't you just tell me?
Because l wanted it to be a surprise.
Real surprise.
Because nobody forgets how to live.
Even if love forgets them.
Thanks mate.
Just be there.
Everything will be taken care of.
How did you know he loves lndian food?
Because everyone loves lndian food.
Yes Pakwan?
Did you understand?
There you go. Thank you for that.
There you go. -Thank you. -Cheers. Bye. -Bye.
Hi.
l know my face..
lt's crooked.
lt's not perfect.
But l thought if you would try a bit..
..then it might look beautiful.
Please.
lt will cost you 20 pounds.
Yes.
Please don't move.
lt is good that l found you.
l was not understandig that..
..how should l meet you? -Please don't talk.
You're not even looking at me.
lf don't look at me, then how will you make it?
lt's not needed.
Won't you forget me, Renu?
Not so easily.
Why are you following me?
l was not following you. l was trying to walk with you.
C'mon, give that to me.
Let me help you, please.
Why?
..then they'll think that all males around them are weak..
..and cowards.
What will the people say?
Are the men of our country not chivalrous?
..lt doesn't look good.
lt doesn't look good.
Please.
Please come in.
Should l keep this here? -Yes, please. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Ok.
Will you've a coffee?
Ok.
l'll take your coat. -Ok.
Coffee.
Thank you.
Really nice. -Thank you.
l wanted to tell you something.
l shouldn't have fired you from the job.
lt's ok, sir.
Please..
Call me Pinu.
l know that, you know l had not taken the money.
l know you only had put that money in my purse.
And l know you did all this only because..
..because you were getting jealous.
You were jealous.
You knew all of this?
But seriously Pinu..
..there was nothing going on.
There was never such a thing between me and Kamlesh.
After that day, l even stopped receiving his calls.
l guess you're right.
l was jealous.
So does this mean that you've forgiven me?
Long before you even apologized.
Renu, you're a good person.
Very good.
l wronged you so much.
And even then..
lmperfections..
..that's what makes us real.
And l love that.
Renu, l..
..l'm a virgin.
l'm not.
Now what do l say?
Or should l leave it unspoken?
l'd leave it unspoken.
Why should l leave it unspoken?
Now what do l say?
Or should l leave it unspoken?
Now what do l do?
Or should l leave it undone?
l'd leave it undone.
Then what do l do?
lf this is so..
Everything's the same..
Nothing will change.
Slowly, slowly.
Why am l losing faith in this?
Now what do l say?
Or should l leave it unspoken?
What kind of pleasure is this?
Why has the pace changed?
Why for the unsaid..
..have l not any patience now.
Now what do l say?
Or should l leave it unspoken?
Quit talking about love. Before my visa gets expired..
..we'll have to get married.
What happened?
Ok.
Nothing. l have made the coffee. Please have it.
l've made it with love. And..
l'll have to go. l just remembered a work.
You know what..
Do one thing..
..meet me at the restaurant.
Ok?
And keep smiling.
Aunt! Aunt!
Aunt?
Rajat. Rajat. Rajat!
Where is aunt?
Renu! -Hi.
Where were you for so many days? -Ms. Renu!
You went away secretly and the same way you've come back.
Where were you? -This is not right.
Kamlesh! Oh! Renu, you've also come, very good. Look..
l've brought the boxes specially from South Hall.
There are 100 boxes. Fill it with sweets.
l'm very happy. lt seems..
..this time Pinu'smarriage will take place.
Pinu is getting married? -Cancel the marriage.
l can't do this marriage.
From morning.. Couldn't you tell me brfore.
But where is aunt? Must be at Gaylord's..
..for the food and stuff mate.
Wait. Brother Pinu!
What's the problem? Why are you cancelling the marriage?
Because..
..l refuse to live without love.
Way to go mate!
l can't wait to see mom's expressions.
Wait! Brother Pinu, l'm also coming.
Renu..
She is not picking up the phone.
Wait, wait. Let me get this right.
You're telling me that yesterday night, you and Renu were..
..together.
Shut up, Rajat! -Congratulations, brother Pinu!
You finally got your leg over. -Can you shut up?
And that time you didn't remember that today was your..
..marriage? That time l remembered nothing.
Because nothing else mattered.
And nothing else should matter, brother Pinu.
You had sex. Good old, hetro..
..bonka doodle doo. -Are you insane?
Just gay!
Good for you.
And great for you boss!
You're in love with Renu, boss!
Kamlesh, what l'm saying is that..
..she liked me.
Me!
And l didn't tell her anything.
She'll never forgive me.
Boss, l'm saying it again.. -What?
Never say never.
Never say never!
Renu!
..she's not here. Renu?
Renu, are you inside?
She's obviously not there mate. -Now what should we do?
Fetch this guy!
That girl who comes here every day?
She's not come today.
lts aunt, you speak.
Hello mom?
Pinu can't do this marriage. -What are you saying?
Don't talk nonsense! This is not right!
Hello?
What! Doesn't want to get married?
Look Pinu, we seek your well-being.
Yes. -lf you do this marriage, evrything will be alright.
You seek my well being, isn't it? -Yes.
Aunt, you want my well-being, don't you? -Yes, son.
Then, for the sake of my happiness, please..
..cancel this wedding. -Pinu, what are you talking?
Will the wedding cancellation work for your betterment? -Pinu..
Why don't you say it?
What? -What?
Tell me. What happened? -Sure!
Uncle!
Aunt. -Yes.
l love someone else.
Who is it?
Renu. l love Renu.
Oh my god! You love Renu?
Pinu, you love Renu and got engaged to someone else?
Where is she?
We're trying but don't seem to find her.
You want to cancel this wedding for a girl who's missing.
C'mon Pinu!
Listen to me, my son.
Comply to this wedding and everything will be fine. Look..
Look, your wedding has already been cancelled once.
What if it happens the second time?
Who will marry you?
Look, Pinu, how did you feel when Payal left you?
Atleast think of what this girl will undergo?
Yes, Pinu..
Pinu, suppose Renu rejects you, then?
You comply to this wedding and everything will be fine.
For my sake!
Mom, why are you E-mailing Pinu brother?
E-mail? l don't know how to e-mail.
Emotional blackmail, mom.
You do not know? lt's your speciality!
Shut up idiot! You speak a lot!
C'mon now get ready! Okay, son? Your amazing suit!
You stole me from myself!
This is called lonliness.
You should know by now.
You should know by now. -Stop! Stop!
Stop the car!
Whatever happens, miles fade away!
My life is a shadow.
You should know by now.
-Stop the wedding!
What happened? -l'll see to it.
Anything wrong, mate? -l found her.
Really? -Yeah.
This will be a bollywood moment, mate. -Watch!
This marriage cannot take place.
Why not?
Because..
Pinu Patel is gay. -What?
Rajat, what nonsense are you speaking?
What are you saying? -Don't you understand? Our Pinu is gay.
ls this the truth? Are you gay?
Yes.
l'm gay.
That so explains it. -Sorry, Priyanka.
l can't marry you.
No problem. l don't have any problem with it.
l need my visa, Pinu.
Let's get married. -You're so obnoxious.
Obnoxious is better than gay.
Thank you, Priyanka.
l don't feel bad now. -Aunt!
What happened? -Renu!
Pinu!
Guys!
l'll take it up!
Goodluck, mate!
Okay!
Someone's beside the door.
They can hear everything that you're saying.
Well, it's amazing!
Will you marry me, please?
Marry you?
You think that l love you?
You only used to say, Renu.
That you like imperfection.
Will you get a guy more imperfect than me?
Will you marry me?
Please!
You're such a cartoon, Pinu. -l know.
So, is it a yes?
Okay, people.
Thanks for the few laughs. For today's stand up act..
..the bridegroom himself, Pinu Patel.
Why don't l know about this? -Pinu, come, come.
Go! -He's calling you, go.
Go! -Take it away, my man.
That idiot!
Can bad jokes be really funny?
Apparently, they're hilarious.
However bad a joke is..
..the more the people laugh at it.
l never even dreamt that..
..in my life..
..there could be such a beautiful romance.
Because the kind of dreams l used to have..
..only depicted Kamlesh's dressing sense.
Thank you, Renu, for all your love.
And thank you, Kamlesh for all the confession.
And last but not the least.
Thank you, Rajat!
For making me understand that love is eternal.
And we should all refuse..
..to live without love.
He's down to, he's down to, love, love, love.
Are you into, are you out to, love, love, love.
We're out to, we're proud to, 'cos world has got it down to.
Love, love, love.
Love, love, love. -What's good? What is he doing?
Don't you understand? Rajat is gay! Gay!
How will we get him married? 'Cos his partner..
..is not a Gujrati. -You keep your calm.
Don't keep longing.
Let love embrace you.
Have faith in yourself.
Let the rest be.
Realise your happiness.